Dignified funerals for San Diego’s abandoned babies

By Matthew Bowler on Nov 11, 2023 at 10:31 PM in San Diego Garden
Matthew Bowler

For any family, the death of a child is the single most tragic event they can imagine. But what happens when the baby has no family? That’s where the Garden of Innocence steps in. It is the final resting place for abandoned children.

The grave of Baby Adam was the first baby to be buried at the Garden of Innocence in 1999. Adam’s body was found in a dumpster in the South San Diego County city of Chula Vista, March 9, 2023.

Started in 1999 after a baby's body was found in a Chula Vista dumpster, the Gardens are now in 12 other cities across California. There are more than 220 graves at the San Diego site alone.

Allan Musterer, Director of Garden of Innocence: San Diego, March 9, 2023.

Allan Musterer, Director of Garden of Innocence: San Diego, said they average about one service a month but have had as many as five at once.

Each person in attendance holds the tiny coffin, one after the other, to honor the abandoned child who is being laid to rest at the Garden of Innocence, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

“When no one has come forward for that baby then they call us up,” Musterer said.

Each person in attendance holds the tiny coffin, one after the other, to honor the abandoned child who is being laid to rest at the Garden of Innocence, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

The garden is at the El Camino Memorial Park in Sorrento Valley. The original plot of land was donated by the mortuary, but soon enough the Garden of Innocence needed to buy adjoining plots of land for more graves. The all-volunteer organization is trying to pay for another plot of land next to their original graves.

Rebecca Melendez, co-founder of the Garden of Innocence, March 9th, 2023.

“The fee to do a burial is the space, the opening and closing, but the vault is donated by the vault company the stone is donated by the headstone company so there are a lot of organizations and companies that donated to help the babies,” said Rebecca Melendez, co-founder of the Garden of Innocence.

The Knights of Columbus act as pallbearers for the tiny coffins of abandoned children at the Garden of Innocence, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

The fees and now the additional purchasing of more land for graves are why the nonprofit Garden of Innocence is hosting its seventh annual car show and fundraiser on June 25 at the El Camino Memorial Park.

The knights of Columbus act as pallbearers for the tiny coffins of abandoned children at the Garden of Innocence, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

Over the years many parts of the ceremonies have become tradition. The Knights of Columbus act as pallbearers for the tiny coffins, rose petals are dropped into the grave and poems are read aloud to honor and remember the babies being laid to rest.

Attendees at the Garden of Innocence funeral drop rose pedals onto the coffins of an abandoned child inside its grave, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

Music Director of the Garden of Innocence, Coty Hitchcock, said the services they provide affirm her faith in humanity.

A worker at the El Camino Memorial Park Cemetary places a teddy bear in the grave of an abandoned child at the Garden of Innocence, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

“Things have happened that have brought us to this, and that’s okay. We just pray for whatever may have brought us here and we’re just taking care of them and making it into a positive experience,” Hitchcock said.

Attendees at the Garden of Innocence funeral drop rose pedals onto the coffins of an abandoned child inside its grave, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

Everyone working with the Garden of Innocence is a volunteer. While there are customs more commonly associated with the Christian religious tradition Musterer said they are not a Christian organization and all are welcome.

The coffins of two abandoned children at their funeral organized by volunteers from the Garden of Innocence, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

“We are nondenominational, we do nonreligious, it’s just whoever we get as volunteers,” Musterer said.

Gravestones at the Garden of Innocence for some of the more than 220 abandoned children who are buried there, San Diego, June 17, 2023.

As the tiny coffins are lowered into the graves attendees drop rose petals into the grave and around all the other sites where more than 200 of San Diego’s abandoned babies are buried.

 

 

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Matthew Bowler is an award-winning journalist from San Diego. Bowler comes from a long line of San Diego journalists. Both his father and grandfather worked as journalists covering San Diego. He is also a third generation San Diego State University graduate, where he studied art with a specialty in painting and printmaking. Bowler moved to the South of France after graduating from SDSU. While there he participated in many art exhibitions. The newspaper “La Marseillaise” called his work “les oeuvres impossible” or “the impossible works.” After his year in Provence, Bowler returned to San Diego and began to work as a freelance photographer for newspapers and magazines. Some years later, he discovered his passion for reporting the news, for getting at the truth, for impacting lives. Bowler is privileged to have received many San Diego Press Club Awards along with two Emmy's.